A viral TikTok clip has ignited a flash trend for all things demure, elegant and mindful. As the world tunes in to more refined and considerate experiences, how can travellers embody these ideals? Arlo O’Callaghan explains all.
As “brat summer” comes to a close a new trend has landed on social media, popularising the internet’s latest buzz word “demure”.
Earlier this month, American content creator Jools Lebron explained on TikTok how she keeps things “demure”, “cutesy” and “mindful” whilst at work.
The video has since gained more than 33 million views and Lebron has followed up with further etiquette lessons for everyday scenarios.
Whilst the TikToks are mostly satire (one video speaks about not drinking at the airport “like these other girls” – only to be seen shotting liquor in the last few seconds of the clip) they can also be seen as a representation of a bigger ideal.
As transgender model Madison Werner writes on Instagram: “The ‘demure’ trend is a comedic commentary on, and a reclamation of, an ideal of femininity.”
Werner speaks specifically about how this “quiet elegance” can be a form of survival for many trans women such as herself and Lebron.
When it comes to travel, Lebron does make some interesting points. Whilst flying to New York last week, she stated: “You see how I go through airport security? Very demure… Electronics out of the bag. Very considerate… Very mindful of the people around me, I don’t hold up the line.”I do think this trend brings up a necessary question: what would make a traveller “demure”?
There is no doubt that British and American tourists have a reputation for being obnoxious travellers, and it isn’t entirely unwarranted.
Last year Amsterdam’s city council launched a “Stay away” campaign to ward off antisocial British tourists for their objectionable behaviour, warning of €140 fines and criminal records for anyone who doesn’t comply.Asking a friend about what demure means to her, she said: “It means couth, respectful, mindful of others. When I’m being demure I’m being classy but having fun. I’m mindful of why I’ve been invited somewhere but keeping it upbeat.”
When it comes to location or destination, Jools Lebron makes it clear that any place or scenario can be demure, but some destinations seem to have more of an air of “demure” than others.One friend tells me: “I’ll be in Seville, Spain for ‘Demure autumn’. It’s very sunny, very genteel, very cultured. It’s one of the best places to visit in October, great for solo trips, for learning about Arab history in Spain and is queer-friendly too. Very inviting, very mindful, very demure.”
Another will be heading to Bled, Slovenia in September, stating: “I’ll be swimming in the lake, the weather will be starting to cool, I’ll be welcoming in autumn very mindfully.”With what is being claimed as “Demure autumn” approaching, together we came up with a guide on how to travel while being “demure” and respectful of the locals this side of winter.
How to be “demure” abroad:
1. Learn the basics of the local language to ease the relationship
Being able to say a friendly “hello”, “thank you”, “yes”, “no”, and “excuse me” is a small effort that will go a long way.
2. Clue up on the local culture and try traditional food
Try to get under the skin of life in the local area. Perhaps visit museums, try a walking tour, or educate your palate by sampling the local cuisine.
3. Support small businesses
Shopping can be a great way to meet meet people, get recommendations, support the community economy and find meaningful souvenirs.
4. Be mindful of noise and intoxication
This one speaks for itself. If you’re partying until 4am, make sure you’re not being too loud on your journey home.
Brits, in particular, have some stereotypes to break regarding being disrespectful whilst holidaying across Europe – but you don’t need to be urinating into an Amsterdam canal to be seen as a nightmare tourist.
With this in mind, perhaps all holidaymakers could use a little “demure” on their next trip and take a few of these tips on board.